CURRICULUM
VETO
NAME:
JOHNNY HYPOTHALAMUS
BORN:
02/ 04/ 1982
POSITION
APPLIED FOR: PHILOSOPHER
CIRCA
1985:
Started
reading the Financial Times as a three year old.
CIRCA
1989 – 90:
Helped
invent the net at seven: when the idea of the net needed storing in
writing in the attic here to give it a chance to grow all the way
round the world it was me that wrote it. The little document
encrypted a scientific node to do with Gravity, stored the idea of
the net in writing in the attic here in order that it could bloom
around the world, conducted minor experiment into the maths for the
new colour and separated the object ‘pollen’ from its name.
CIRCA
1990:
As
the witness from The Lords And The New Creatures, made some
Naturalistic Observations I don’t quite understand.
CIRCA 1990:
The
second was like
a living spreadsheet of
plastic
– and I dealt with it.
CIRCA
1993:
Was
marked on what the Irish might call the forearm by the experiment
into the maths of the new colour. It didn’t turn out to be the new
colour in the end. In other words from here on in I wear the new
colour mark, from when the maths of the new colour left a mark that
didn’t turn out to be the new colour.
CIRCA
1994:
Wrote
album called The Road To Heaven by Noj And The Mob, containing
inflections of Popperian epistemology and Miltonian theology,
exploring backward liquid maths in words and music.
CIRCA
1995:
At
the end of the government-set intelligence test at the computers, at
the most expensive Prep School in the known universe, upon having
completed the task and been systematically ignored, typed in the
rhythm of ‘Scentless Apprentice’ by Nirvana into the computer.
CIRCA
1995:
Won
English Prize and French Prize at Caldicott, then the most expensive
Prep School in the known universe.
CIRCA
1995:
Came
into possession of a tape that was cut in the reel; and re-sealed it
in a delicate operation, to create a pause in the music. An
experiment was born.
CIRCA
1995:
Wrote
a miniaturist poem about what went on in the I. T. Room earlier
mentioned:
“Sullen,
silken sulks,
we
drink the same rain,
spit
is clean
and
so is dirt.”
CIRCA
1997:
Attained
the face of stars with two friends while out night-walking in
Eskdale. It might’ve been scripted in the Bible. Still we had to
walk away.
CIRCA
1998:
Began
thinking of the musical genre Grime, coined the word amazeballs, and
the mnemonic for the strings in Even A Dick Gets Big Erections.
CIRCA
1998:
Played
gigs in London with a second band, namely Oedipus Wrecks, who had a
song with the line “oceans smile with liquid eyes and fill
themselves with rain.”
CIRCA
1998:
Started
DIY poetry press called Ice Land Publications after the country in
Brave New World where renegades are exiled who produced a
monthly magazine called Poetry Now.
CIRCA
1998:
Also
that year started third band in Secret Chord H. Secret Chord H made
it to the radio with a song called ‘Dream With Open Eyes’.
CIRCA
1998:
Began
an experiment into healing a cassette tape of Pearl Jam ‘VS’ with
a pause where cut and re-sealed in the reel. That is, after setting
the experiment up, I wrote a song repeating the mantra of “another,
another, another fucking joint,” over and over, to see if the pause
could be done away with using mantra, rhythm, chanting and double
entendre.
2000:
Started
and abandoned a Sixth form novel called The Dream Film Store.
2000:
Spoke
against September 11th in the barn, when asked of the plot
of Fight Club.
2000:
Predicted
the hunt for the God Particle’s discovery from looking at a ballet
of dust in a late ray of light angling in.
2000:
Prophesied
the Plough alignment but said it would be “maybe in India” as
opposed to my own backgarden. Nevertheless, those present remember me
founding a new religion all about the elephant.
2000:
Wrote
the highest marked English Literature A-level exam essay in the
nation at 100%.
2000:
Set
aside ideal for a book to write about it all called The Scientific
Papers. It was to be classed as “a series of findings into
itself, into the concept of art and science as a single discussion of
perception.”
2001:
Started
to record an album on a mate’s state-of-the-art, binaural earphones
in a new band called The Flood in Cambridge.
CIRCA
2001:
Also
had “effervescent” mobile phone reverberating rhythm of ‘William
Tell’ through every technological inlet in the room before it rang
from the art smuggler nicknamed Blue.
2001
or 2:
Won
place at Warwick University to read Creative Writing under David
Morley by writing a portfolio about Portability as the Apotheosis of
Form which included a poem called ‘Instant Travel,’ written at a
computer screen, in Cambridge. Writing ‘Instant Travel’ I
remember thinking I had found my voice.
2002:
Arriving
at Warwick discovered my own tutor David Morley had in 2002 just
brought out a book called The Scientific Papers, classed as “a
series of findings into itself, into the concept of art and science
writing as a single discussion of perception.” He had the extra
word “writing.”
2002:
Wrote
many good undergraduate pieces such as a CNF piece called Lucy In
The Soul With Demons, not sure if she was an actual substance.
Also wrote a poem that tried to calibrate a new, “magnetic”
language by encrypting events in the mystical realm as a series of
adverts for imaginary products that also satirised consumerist greed.
Still, left without degree.
CIRCA
2004:
Promised
on the binaural earphone record I would “plug my senses in the
mains,” then left The Flood to pursue poetry and get a degree at
the second time of asking, this time from my local University in the
north, Lancaster.
CIRCA
2004:
Was
placed under an evil and very well-designed curse, without being able
to know.
CIRCA
2005 or 2006:
Already
writing about the new A. I. around the time of the onset of acute
mental illness.
CIRCA
2008:
Hosted
the alignment of the Plough and the oldest fell Black Combe which
definitely concurred with the sociopolitical realm: a rhythm change
in the White House.
2009:
Achieved
a First Class Honours degree from Lancaster University. Undergraduate
pieces included a portfolio taking the form of defaced banknotes, and
a dissertation on David Morley.
CIRCA
2009:
Was
diagnosed almost as soon as I remembered the two weird specimens from
boyhood, with schizo-affective disorder, as if such a recognition of
myself as the formal “witness from The Lords And The New
Creatures” was always concurrent with diagnosis insanity.
CIRCA
2009:
Attested
to large-scale skywriting at the Secret Garden Party.
CIRCA
2009:
A
six song album by The Flood – recorded on binaural earphones – is
made available to listen to on Soundcloud. It was recorded years
earlier and contains a lyric about plugging the senses into the
mains.
2010:
Attested
to pint glass exploding from thin air in the capital, much like
someone else also present at the face of stars had in time before me.
2010:
Noticed
the witness’s name was stamped on Piper At The Gates of Dawn
as if some kind of proof – maybe a musical concept from back in the
band days.
CIRCA
2011:
Got
together with a mate and made an E. P. called ‘The A and E. P.’
in a band called Funnelspirals. It’s on Soundcloud.
CIRCA
2011:
Solo
album called ‘Songs To Record With Earphones’ [Demo 3] is
available on Soundcloud under the name John F B Tucker.
2013:
Project
on healing the tape of a pause where cut and re-sealed in the reel
became successful whereupon the tape was cooked in the dark blue AGA,
top oven hottest one, to make it a valid work of art, and
photographed and put online.
2013:
Built
The Tower of magic books like one emanating the smell of redolent
flowers or Flora’s perfume and another missing a line it once had.
2013:
Computer
screen bloomed a numinous purple light that filled the room. Worked
at said screen almost constantly, writing.
2014:
Upon
the loss of my father, I discovered a sheet where pictures grew.
Pictures seem to depict the lyric from an old song from Oedipus
Wrecks, London band from 1998, though the sheet belongs to my brother
James P D Tucker possibly as part of a deal my dad made.
2015:
Wrote
poem that falsifies the Nirvana barcode, which I made to be the beat
of ‘Scentless Apprentice’ by Nirvana tapped out in approximate
barcode shape using the tool of the qwerty keyboard.
2015
– 2023:
Published
several books, some of which were un-published later. The first was
Rose Petals In The Ashtray, but I un-published it. The problem
was that for some mysterious reason my computer died on the night of
publication so I couldn’t even get the cover I wanted let alone the
text. I crept downstairs to my mother’s ancient desktop and threw
together some half-remembered scraps. Not only that but I didn’t
know the meaning of the title, which my dad gave me. Things haven’t
recovered ever since. When I later unpublished the book, I brought
out some self-publications. The ones that are still available online
are:
Binaural
Songbook
57
Paintings For Art Therapy
The
Field of Rock N Roll Science
John
Tucker’s Schooldays: A Spreadsheet Poem
Another
57 Paintings for Art Therapy
The
New Beat
The
Effect of Global Warming On The Unicorn
Word
For Stained Glass Windows
154
Shakespearean Sonnets
2023:
New
band with a mate - Funnelspirals
- have changed name to Black Hole Myths.
2023:
Started
to record some of my back catalogue of songs for
Bandcamp.
2023:
Brought
out a book of song lyrics called Soundcloud
Rain with
Chipmunka. It is classed
as a
“Sound Art experiment into secret chord H” in that I sat with my
songs on a file and heard the voice of Hannah telling me how to
arrange them and did what she said and published the book before
finding out it wasn’t really Hannah. It
includes the falsification of the Nirvana barcode.
2023:
Brought
out seven year old scribblings as The Sunset Child. As stated
it performs several scientific functions including storing the idea
of the net in writing in the attic, although at the time of
publication I did not yet know this.
2024:
Organised
some recent recordings for Bandcamp. There are several albums up
there now. Four that I have said are by Various Artists, plus an
Unplugged by just me. The four by Various Artists have things like
the melted tape, the sheet where pictures grew and the
purple-bleeding screen for covers. Creative writing pieces such as
‘Instant Travel,’ ‘That Black Natural E,’ ‘Lucy In the Soul
With Demons’ and ‘Skunkfoot’ were turned into songs.
2024:
Brought
out a new book with Chipmunka, called Breath Trapped In Heaven,
comprised entirely of love poems. The idea is that including only
love poems, literature may have started to release or disinhibit
serotonin.
2024:
Brought
out a fourth Chipmunka book, called Brave New Tense. The idea
is that to write off the top of your head about your current, current
situation with a New Beat, no-edits policy you can Tap the beck in
the back garden here where the stars re-align.
2024:
Retracted
the fourth Chipmunka book Brave New Tense from publication.
2024:
It
turned out that the binaural earphones on which The Flood recorded
were my own idea to invent back in the den in the barn in 2000.
2024:
Sat
in the same chair as yesterday, working at the same laptop as
yesterday, on the same vexed, age old questions as yesterday,
wondering why, wishing I had done enough.
2024:
Considered
the entirety of the data-tree, the 1000’s of files, the inchoate
morass, the virtual Brainforest as the ultimate work of art and the
truth as to what I had really done.
2024:
Brought
out Brave New Tense again.
2025:
Realised
I didn’t know how old I was. Thinking I was 43, I turned out to be
42. Wondered how long it had been like this.
2025:
Thought
of all I had left out: every access of wonder, inscape of wings,
piece of pollen in the pollen count, visionary proclivity.
2025:
Still,
tried to be at peace.
2025:
Even
just putting the sheet where pictures grew along with the set list of
the band Oedipus Wrecks on Blogspot page, I feel like I am about to
die and have to take them down. There was a stage where not only that
was up there, but a photo of the tape, proof of the purple bleeding
screen, hyperlink to the binaural recordings – and more – and it
was the same then – heart trouble. It may be that I don’t get to
share scientific information online.
2025:
The
Oedipus Wrecks set-list + sheet where pictures grew has gone back
online. The presentation therein has been described as “The God of
Trons.” A tron could be a point of intersection between technology
and art or a post-poetic experiment with a psycho-technological edge.
Presenting the sheet like I have would probably be what a famous
scientist would do having discovered the sheet.
2025:
Sat
back wondering what else could possibly be done.
2025:
Took
the pictures down again because my brother says my old friends only
want them up there so that the pictures can belong to the New Red
City. I believe the sheet still belongs to the person that laid it
down and that is my brother even if the pictures depict the lyric to
an Oedipus Wrecks song.
2025:
Put
the piece back on the Blogspot page. The sheet + Oedipus Wrecks
lyrics is a piece called ‘The Wasted Ship.’
2025:
Still
had to take ‘The Wasted Ship’ (and everything else up there) down
from the blog again.
2025:
Returned
to philosophy, with a gift administered by the apothecary: to start
with a CV, then turn inward, think.
2025:
Brought
out Transition To Philosophy, also Transition To Philosophy
Volume Two, also Transition To Philosophy Volume Three under
the name Johannes Bergfors.
2025:
Put
a new album by The Flood on Soundcloud under John F B Tucker.
2025:
Found
out I really did help invent the net at seven; also that I was marked
by the maths of the new colour; also that my father may have been
sponsored by some philosophers to provide the real, human witness
from The Lords And The New You Know Who.
2025:
Brought
out collection called Yes You May. It was made with my
sister Hannah.
2025:
Brought
out collection called Let The Jews Win. It really did precede
a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas and in it I got the
autobiographical bit right for a change.
2025:
Found
out the second specimen from boyhood was a literal monster. (A
monster needn’t be very big.)
2026:
Tried
to write a book of philosophy as good as Barnes’s goal against
Brazil but realised, thanks to my brother, that it was all a bit
right-wing and Barnes was left-footed.
2026:
Still
remain unpaid for anything in this CV, not even a pound, not even a
penny.
2026:
Reading
John Stuart Mill’s On Liberty clarified my thinking apropos
going Anon. He says a progressive country quickly becomes stale,
sterile, stagnant, staid and stationary, full of dead values and dead
customs if there is a decrease in Individuality. With a CV like mine,
helping invent the net, taking care of The Lords And The New You
Know Who, attempting the maths of the new colour, attaining the
face of stars, andcetera, I feel it would be a really bad mistake to
make me go Anon. Still there are terrible voices who say they won’t
even let me die unless I surrender things that have even been
published already to Anon.
2026:
Reading
back through the Chipmunka series I see I have already done what I
wanted to do. I make it the 6 Chipmunka collections are a series like
Proust. Soundcloud
Rain, The Sunset Child, Breath Trapped In Heaven, Brave New Tense,
Yes You May
and Let
The Jews Win.
2026
That
means we get a series and whatever comes on the end comes on the end
but it is my brother and I who did the music one,
Soundcloud Rain, with
which we begin.
2026:
Still
putting new poems on Write Out Loud; and thinking of making a new
album on Ableton Live. Sent
some documents off to my bro Dr. Robert too. A new collection looked
terrible, a book of science only marginally better. Saw my brother
James left a shopping list on the pine, wooden stair. It
had five things on it including carrots and bread, and was in my
sister’s handwriting, there on the fifth step up. Have started
wondering how to tie up all this in the event of knowing I am about
to die.
