NOTE 4

 2 versions of my latest collection are on my blog, first the time-faring all-in-one collection that leaves things out, then some suicide notes, then the older version that i left behind that was meant for Fliss or Flee and is our one, my whole family's which James said not to go w/ because it would mean i die a rat. but upon taking 200 anti-psychotics voices have said do put it up after all. so there it is. a jangld and jinxed set up with two heavily overlapping and clapping collections. i am always closer to death than before, and starting to come up. soon it might get Hellish but i am hoping to slip away in the night. i trusted Hannah on the rat collection. hannah and mum said to do it - that it was ours. there's no going back now. it contains more information about why i might need to kill myself. the sanitised time-faring version that was put on before but came from after didn't mention anything like that in terms of a rationale for or abc of suicide. i notice i am still being quite pedantic and fastidious with loquacity. i wonder if someone is stopping me form dying. 200 anti-spcyhotics. melting into my blood and body. maybe i will do away with the sanitised version. maybe i will keep only the rat version.